Jefferson Adventure: Day 5-6

On Thursday, July 27, I woke up alone for the last time in my hotel room and got myself prepped for another day of infusions. As much as I was dreading the drugged, sluggish, awful feeling of having so many medications pumped through my body, I was hopeful that they did seem to be helping manage the headache pain! I made sure to pack up my book and coloring book even though the visual side effects of the meds made looking at things difficult. Sometimes a girl gets desperate for some distractions.

I hopped in the back seat of my very friendly Uber driver’s car at about 7 am and tried to get myself fully awake during the commute. Once I made it to the office I had my usual meeting with the nurse practitioner and we went over the plan for the day. I again had low blood pressure and again declined the Benadryl infusion in hopes of being less groggy and mush brained. I had the same nurse in the infusion center which was nice although this time it took three tries to get an IV placed.

After the second unsuccessful stick, nurse Kristin brought out a fancy-shmancy tool that would shine a light on your skin and illuminate the blood vessels! It was the first time I had seen one in person and we both agreed it was a pretty nifty little contraption. We finally managed to get the IV taken care of and the infusions began with 30 minutes of Compazine followed by Zofran, DHE, Toradol, Magnesium, and more Compazine. Maybe more Zofran. Definitely more DHE. Anyway, it was a lot of stuff.

I tried to be more aware of what I was doing with my neck and made sure to stand up and stretch or walk around in the hopes of avoiding the same muscle side effects from the previous day. Unfortunately that was unsuccessful but more about that in a moment.

Mom got up in New York and said goodbye to her traveling buddies with Turner and opted to get a rental car and drive down to Philly rather than ride the bus back to Terre Haute. Thank goodness mom loves driving! She gets lots of hours logged on the road getting me where I need to go for all these medical appointments! We talked on the phone about an hour before my infusions were going to be done and I decided rather than getting an Uber back to the hotel, I would just wait in the city for her to get there and pick me up.

Once I left the infusion center I walked down to a Dunkin’ Donuts and got myself a coffee and waited for mom to get to the city. I don’t usually drink caffeine as it makes the chest pain more intense but desperate times call for desperate measures and I needed to stay awake! There were a lot of phone calls trying to coordinate me being on the correct corner at the time she would be driving by but we finally made connection and I hopped in the rental Camry with her. Philadelphia is not exactly the most fun place to drive – especially when you’re used to the roads in the Midwest that are wide enough to accommodate tractors! Mom is a trooper though and we finally made it back to the hotel.

We decided to just use Grub Hub again for dinner but an hour after placing our order at a nearby pizza restaurant, we got a call saying their delivery person had not shown up and asked us to cancel the order. We couldn’t find anywhere else that we wanted to order from and didn’t really want to wait longer for another delivery order so we found a little Italian place not too far away. We got the smallest pizza they had which was 14 inches and finished half of it between the two of us. We decided cold pizza for lunch in the car the next day sounded like a plan. Our standards for road food are clearly set quite high. (Insert sarcasm here)

This entire time I had been fighting the muscles in my neck cramping like they had the day before. Then the uncontrollable muscle weirdness went to my eyes and for some reason they would get stuck rolling to the back right side of my head. It was incredibly uncomfortable and admittedly kind of frightening. It was a bit like something else was controlling my eyes and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get them to move where I wanted them to. There were a few tears shed out of frustration and fear but we decided that since sleep helped with the neck issue, we would hope for the same with my eyes and if it wasn’t better in the morning we’d call my doctor. Otherwise, our plan was to get on the road home in the morning.

Thankfully, I woke up with much more control over my eye movements and just left with extremely blurry vision which is a side effect of the medication I’ve dealt with before and I knew that would improve with time. We were up and out the door by 7 am and opted to drive home by way of Baltimore rather than have to drive through Philly again.

I was feeling the fatigue pretty hard but also feeling very restless (another side effect) so I got myself some caffeine riddled coffee with my breakfast croissant at our morning stop. They were terribly overpriced, albeit tasty, but we thought it was ok because we were having leftover pizza for lunch. The drive was, overall, uneventful and I am always thankful for the fact that all of the thousands of miles we’ve driven for my sake have all been safe ones.

As we were passing through, we stopped at my brother and sister-in-law’s house to pick up mom’s little dog, Moxie. We were lucky enough to arrive before my niece’s bedtime so we got to enjoy some entertainment courtesy of the cutest little curly blonde-headed child I know. Once in Terre Haute mom asked if I wanted to go to my house or stay at hers for the night. I opted for my house even though my car was still at my dad’s. We got all the way there and I was unloading my things when I realized I didn’t know where my keys were! I assumed I had left them in my car since I couldn’t find them in my backpack anywhere and because I had no spare house key, ended up staying with mom for the night after all. Spoiler alert: I found my keys the next morning in the one pocket of my backpack I never ever use and didn’t check! Oops!

While trip was definitely not what we expected and in some ways disappointing, I do believe it was worthwhile and have gotten some relief from the IV medication I was able to get. I am very grateful for any positive changes and also thankful for the POTS diagnosis. That is not to be confused with being grateful something is wrong necessarily, but it is nice to have a word that encompasses all of those symptoms rather than having to describe each one individually. It also helps my doctors figure out what course of treatment is most promising and gives me credibility as a patient because, yes, I am still not taken seriously in some arenas. I think the outcome of the trip was overall positive and we have scheduled the lidocaine infusion for mid-September. Until then I will be praying for favor with insurance, more good days to get me through, and reminding myself that while things may not make sense to me, there is a bigger, better plan than my own in place.

Isaiah 43:1 “But now, this is what the Lord says – he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine.'”


Jefferson Adventure: Day 3-4

Dad and I woke up plenty early in order to pack up our things and head to the infusion center to be on time for my 7:30 am appointment. Our Uber got us there with time to spare and after a quick meeting with the nurse practitioner to check on vitals and discuss any last minute questions, I headed off to the infusion room. My very sweet nurse, Pandora, got an IV started and dad went off in search of some decent coffee while I began my infusion of Benadryl, Compazine, Zofran, DHE, Magnisium, and Toradol. All of these are medications I’ve had in the past but this time they were given together and at different rates than past experiences.

The Benadryl had me pretty worn out for a good while so dad was in and out of the infusion room while I slept. He left around 1 pm to head for the airport to catch his flight back home. I finished my infusions around 3 pm and I caught my own Uber to the hotel room I’d be staying in for the next few nights. Unfortunately when I arrived I was informed that the elevators were not working and were not expected to be functioning again for a few weeks. Not the most welcome news for someone who just spent hours having their body essentially assaulted with medications and who on a good day deals with intense fatigue and dysautonomia. Oh, my room was also on the third floor.

I managed to lug my bag and myself up the stairs and generated some laughs from the two men behind me because this healthy looking 24 year old woman was completely out of breath and feeling pretty faint after a short trip up the stairs but I was really too tired to care. I made it to the room and pretty much passed out for the rest of the evening. Dad made it home safely and I missed just enough texts and phone calls to accidentally cause concern. Oops!

I woke up on day four feeling worn out from the day before but thankfully more rested than when I got to the hotel. I got myself dressed and downstairs and called my ride for the morning. My day was much like the one before with a check in with the NP, comments on my low blood pressure, and then off to the infusion room. My nurse took a couple of tries getting my IV started which didn’t surprise me since DHE is a vasoconstrictor, which makes finding a good vein more difficult.

I opted to skip the Benadryl since I didn’t like being quite that groggy while having to stay awake and alert enough to safely transport myself between the office and hotel. The NP said that would be fine unless I started having side effects that required it. Thankfully that wasn’t an issue.

However, after this day of infusions, I did experience a really weird side effect of my neck muscles contracting uncontrollably. That meant that my head was stuck in a position like I was cradling a phone between my ear and shoulder and was really uncomfortable. I tried stretching but it didn’t really help. Thankfully a night of rest did do the trick and the following morning was much better in that regard.

I talked to mom from my hotel room and she caught me up on how her Niagara Falls trip had been going. I updated her on my surprise of just how much more difficult this all was than I expected. We both agreed that we were pretty excited to be reunited the following day! I fell in and out of sleep starting fairly early in the evening and prepared to do it all again in the morning!


Jefferson Adventure: Day 1-2

Sunday morning, July 23rd, dad and I got up and ready to head to the airport. I got my Sophie dog packed up, my Glitter cat kissed and assured of my love, my living room as empty as possible for the flooring to be replaced while gone, and made a stop at the Sycamore Dog Estate before meeting up with dad and stowing my car. Our drive was grey and rainy but uneventful.

Thankfully the rain and lightning cleared before our first flight and pretty soon we were in Atlanta. After some airport lunch we boarded once again and touched down in Philadelphia at about 4:30. We found my bag at baggage claim and called the hotel to request the shuttle. We made it to the hotel where the man at the check in desk was rather confused about the separate reservations under the same last name (one for dad and me and one for mom when she joins me.) but we got it all figured out.

I was disappointed to learn that there was not complimentary wifi except in the public areas but we have been blessed with 4G on our cell phones so our grub hub order could still be placed. I know, first world problems are tough. Getting our dinner was a bit of a circus but we didn’t go to bed hungry so all was well in the end.

This morning, Monday, I called to confirm my 1 pm appointment and we caught an Uber to the city around 11 am. We walked around and found an ihop where I got breakfast and dad got lunch, and we met the slowest waitress I’ve ever seen in my life. Thankfully I had allowed us plenty of time so there wasn’t much worry about being late to check in for the appointment.

After sitting in the waiting room for about forty minutes I finally made it back to talk with my doctor. She was trying everything she could to get my insurance to approve my admission so that we could go ahead with the lidocaine infusion as planned but so far hadn’t been successful. After lengthy discussion of our options, we settled on a plan for me to come back at 7:30 tomorrow morning for outpatient infusions and pray that insurance calls back with good news. My vitals weren’t good enough for her to feel comfortable administering the medication she would have preferred without me being inpatient, but we will try some abortive IV medication to hopefully at least provide temporary relief while waiting out the insurance call. She was also rather appalled that no other doctor has talked to me about POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) before now because my symptoms point that direction and – SURPRISE – I have responded to the medication she gave me to control said symptoms. It’ s a form of autonomic dysfunction that is seen very commonly with NDPH. This means my body can’t regulate things like heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature the way it should.

We discussed my increased joint pain and issues with insomnia and she thinks that the joint pain spike could be a full body response to the recent Botox treatment I had and that the lidocaine infusion could be helpful for that. The idea of that infusion is to calm my central nervous system which is overly sensitized. However, that particular treatment comes with enough cardiac risk that in order to do it, I will need to be on a monitor 24/7, which is not something that can be done in an outpatient setting.

Tomorrow dad will fly back home and the plan for me to be at the hospital is very up in the air right now so I made myself further hotel reservations so that we can continue with the outpatient treatment. Mom is still planning on driving down to join me on Thursday and depending on insurance decisions will drive back home together at some point.

We’re all praying that things go our way and that I can have this infusion that I’ve been so hoping for for the past two months but keeping in mind that there is a plan in motion bigger than my own. I will be incredibly disappointed if the denial isn’t overturned but I’ve been keeping in mind Philippians 4:6-7 that says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Its really difficult to accept when what looks best to us is not what God has in mind for us, but thankfully, he is much better at directing my life than I am and so I will just do my best to trust that if the answer is “no”, its because something else, even better than what I can imagine, is in store.


The Issue I Have With Demanding Explanation From God

I’m sure we’ve all thought it. Maybe even begged for it. Everyone wants clarity in their lives and to have their questions answered, especially when their questions involve pain. Whether the pain is emotional, physical, or spiritual, we all crave the knowledge that suffering is not in vain. This often manifests in asking God for an explanation or “sign”, and here’s why I believe that is setting yourself up for disappointment.

Starting at the ground floor of my thoughts is this simple fact: God is God and we are not. What I mean by that is that God is omnipotent. He knows everything that ever has happened, what is happening, and what is yet to come. He has created the entire universe and doesn’t abide by the limitations we have as humans. In contrast, we can see the tiny speck that is our personal experience. We couldn’t possibly understand the complexities of the Almighty God.

The first of two of my favorite lines in the movie, The Shack, is when “Papa” is telling the main character that he can only see through the knothole of his pain. This means that we are only able to see part of the whole picture. There are things going on that we are completely unaware of and its not in our power to know them.

The other line I found to be worth repeating happens again in a conversation between the main character and the “God” character. It goes, “Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn’t mean I orchestrate the tragedies”. So often we blame God for our pain and ask why He is creating this struggle in our lives instead of asking how we can grow from it or how good can come from our trial. Understanding that while, yes, God does have the power to make the world perfect and painless, we live a life with free will. As long as we are able to make our own choices, there will be suffering in our lives. God is interested in relationship, not robots. Because of that fact He chooses to let us decide for ourselves if we will allow his love and perfect plan shape our lives.

Beyond the basic understanding that God uses our pain but does not create it,  asking for a sign sets us up for disappointment and frustration because we don’t know what we’re asking for in the first place. What exactly would a “sign” look like to you? Would you expect a divine voice to audibly speak to you? Maybe a dream that explains everything you’ve been questioning? What about the signs from God that surround us each and every day?

We live on a swirling ball of molten rock covered in water and dirt that orbits a star at just the right distance and tilt to allow us to exist. Just ponder that for a moment. It was once said that “for those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who do not believe, no proof is possible”. At what point would we notice that God was speaking to us? His voice is so often left unheard simply because we are not paying attention. His timing is written off as coincidence or just the universe randomly playing out. It is all too easy to spend all of our time asking questions and never listen for the answers.

One figure told about in the Bible that I relate quite well with is Job. If you grew up in the church or have learned about many of the stories told, you are probably familiar with his life. We know that he lost everything due to Satan attempting to assert power over God and prove that Job only worshiped him because he was so blessed with worldly things. First he lost all of his belongings after being a very wealthy man. Then he lost his entire family. Finally his health was taken from him and he suffered greatly. Those who once respected him looked at him with disgust and his closest friends accused him of harboring secret sins that he was being punished for. We know that through all of it he held tight to his faith. What we often don’t think about is that Job didn’t know what we know as the audience all these years later. He wasn’t privy to the conversation and spiritual warfare between Heaven and Hell. And he never got an explanation. 

Job never learned the reason behind his troubles but that is not to say God was silent. Toward the end of the book God speaks to Job out of a storm and asks him why he believes he knows better than the creator of everything. Despite begging for the chance to plead his case to God, Job humbles himself and finally acknowledges that he was talking about what he did not understand. Job did indeed ask for forgiveness of his sins, but they were not the sins his friends had accused him of. Rather, he repented for his attitude and for questioning the sovereignty of the Lord.

Demanding an explanation from God is not going to get us anywhere except straight into self righteousness, anger, and disappointment.  His timeline is not the same as ours and we are asked to trust, even when we do not understand. We may never know the “why” behind the struggles of life but we can rest in the fact that God is in control.

God is in control. 

God is in control. Of everything. 


Getting Real Freakin’ Honest Y’all

These past few weeks have been really, really hard. The day after I got back from Philadelphia I went out to take Sophie dog for a walk and promptly ran my foot into some uneven sidewalk and demolished the outside of my right foot. It wasn’t a serious injury really – I figured I’d lose a toenail and it would be swollen and sore for a few days but I’ve broken toes before and gotten over it just fine. No need to whine around.

Welllll my already hypersensitive nervous system had some other plans and I still haven’t been able to put my foot in water, under a blanket, put weight on the outside of that foot, or deal with temperature changes without pain. Basically I’ve developed intense allodynia on the outside of my right foot.

And its embarrassing. I’m actually really embarrassed that my stupid, broken down body can’t even deal with a simple toe injury without dramatics. I’m ashamed that walking down the refrigerated aisle of the grocery store causes me to be awake half of the night with burning pain that is completely uncalled for. I don’t want to talk about it because it’s just another Ashley Issue that doesn’t show up on any scan or blood test. Just another thing that makes me look like a whiny, wimpy, baby who can’t handle life. Just another issue that makes me look like a drug seeker in the eyes of the medical world.

If you’re sick of hearing about my life that, at the moment, is completely controlled by pain issues, I GUARANTEE you that I am 100 times more sick of living it. I hate the fact that every social media post I write has something to do with medical issues because that’s all I have to talk about anymore. I hate this so much more than any of you. I hate that the person I used to be has all but vanished and I don’t know who I am anymore.

I’m trapped in this body which means that no, I can’t go to that concert or go camping or be the fun person I used to be right now. But please don’t leave me. Please don’t forget about me. Please keep talking to me because I’m still here and I need the people in my life now more than ever. I know I’m a downer and my conversation is boring and I have the focus and concentration of a goldfish. I know my contribution to my friendships has become pretty minimal and I live like a lame hermit, but please remember that I’m here.

I’m sorry that my life has turned into this nightmare that isn’t pleasant for anyone. No one likes to talk about illness. No one likes to hear about medical procedures and pain. Its considered a negative topic and those whose lives are dictated by it are generally considered to be obsessive and in need of mental stability. But let me tell you, from the inside of this awful, inescapable, living horror show, it is so much more miserable than you can imagine. I don’t want to wake up and live this any more than you want to hear about it. I want to be better so much more than you want me to be better. What you feel for the thirty seconds it takes you to glance at my Instagram post, I feel 24/7.

So I’m just going to be honest. Life is hard right now. I feel more alone right now than I ever have before. Yes, my life is ruled by pain at the moment and I’m not going to be ashamed of that. I’m not weak. I’m really, really freaking strong. I live this hell every day and every day I wake up and fight some more. So if you can’t handle that, then that’s ok – but if you want to be a part of my life, I could really use some friends right now.



Is It Safe to Follow Jesus?

A couple weeks ago I was sitting in church listening to my pastor deliver a sermon focused on the passage in Matthew where Jesus is asleep on a boat when a monstrous storm cropped up threatening to overtake the boat and drown the passengers. His disciples woke him and Jesus calmed the storm leaving the disciples in awe and terrified. After all, the man had just commanded nature and nature obeyed! I think I would be pretty terrified of someone that powerful too!

Toward the end of the sermon, the pastor quoted a line from The Chronicles of Narnia in which one of the children asked if Aslan (the lion portrayed as the Jesus character) was safe. The beaver replied by saying, “Safe? Of course he isn’t safe, but he’s good”. Thinking of Jesus being portrayed as a lion reminded me of an experience I had on a road trip with my sister a few years ago. We were camping in Yellowstone National Park and one day while driving to the next attraction, a black bear sauntered out onto the road in front of us. We stopped a safe distance away and excitedly whipped out cameras and took pictures of this wild animal so close to us that we never expected to see in person. It was a really neat moment and I remember thinking how cool it was, but I wasn’t afraid. When we got to the trail we were planning to hike, I began thinking about that bear and felt much more vulnerable without the safety of a car around me. I knew encountering a bear in this setting would be a much different feeling and far more dangerous. This was not a situation I was in control of and the fear crawled up my spine.
How often do we do that same thing with God in our lives? We generally like to talk about him being loving and just but sometimes forget just how powerful he is! God was very forthcoming in saying that in this world we will have trouble, but that He has overcome the world (John 16:33). Choosing to really follow Jesus and give Him control over our whole lives is not the safe choice, but oh is it good. He works all things for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28), but it is not going to be comfortable. Letting go of our perceived control over our lives and allowing Jesus to flow through every aspect of ourselves can be really scary, as though we are removed the proverbial car between us and the bear, but he is trustworthy. However, I think it is important to understand that our idea of what is good for us doesn’t always line up with his. Paul was stoned, imprisoned, and martyred for his faith. In fact, John is the only one of the twelve apostles thought to have died of natural causes.
Choosing to follow Jesus can mean having your whole life flipped around and accepting that while you might not understand, you believe that His plans for you are good. It can mean having your dreams reshaped and molded into something you had never pictured for yourself. It can mean that you may have to deal with some really difficult things in life but hold unswervingly to hope, because the one you follow is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).
Accepting Jesus also means that the power of the one who controls the wind and waves lives inside you. That you are a part of the family of God and therefore are co-heirs with Christ and in sharing his sufferings, we will also share his glory (Romans 8:17). It means that you no longer have to feel that everything is on your shoulders because there is someone more powerful than Satan himself who has wonderful plans for you and what he started, he will finish (Phil 1:6). Accepting the perfect love of Jesus means that there is nothing left to fear (1 John 4:18). He has overcome death, he has overcome the world, and he loves you! If we can trust in his promises, we can say that of course He isn’t safe, but oh is he good.
Medical · Uncategorized

My First Appointment at the Jefferson Headache Center

I’ve decided I want to keep better documentation of my experiences these days. I’ve let myself completely stop documenting this period of my life because I’ve been thinking of it as more of a transition or waiting phase rather than my life that I’m actively participating in. Now I think that this is just life and be it the medical saga that it is, its mine and its up to me to not only survive it, but to embrace it and make the most of what I can! With that being said, I’m going to be documenting my medical journey more often on this blog as well as writing down my thoughts and opinions on other topics! So here goes… my first appointment at the Jefferson Headache Center…
Mom and I packed up to hit the road on Tuesday, May 23rd which also happens to be moms birthday. We weren’t able to do much celebrating because of the circumstances but she has never complained about the sacrifices she makes for my sake (well any of her children really). I think she deserves all the thanks in the world but that’s another subject altogether. We dropped my Sophie dog off at the Sycamore Dog Estate where she loves getting to spend time with her canine friends and running around to her little hearts content. Then it was me, mom, and Moxie eastbound and down with the goal of making it to the hotel room in time for the Dancing With the Stars finale that night. Moxie was an excellent traveling pup and provided plenty of smiles and “awww” moments along the way. We made it to the hotel just in time but the room kind of reminded me of something out of a horror movie… we had two nights reserved but packed our things in the morning and decided we’d find somewhere else for the next slumber.
Moms phone guided us to the right address fairly easily and once we parked and checked in I started working on the personality test all new patients take. I do think its complete garbage that the psych doctors choose not to work with insurance at all so it was nearly $500 out of pocket right off the bat for this test and a consult with the psychiatrist – both of which are required for all new patients. Anyway, we thanked God for the blessing of the ability to pay for it and moved on and hopefully insurance will reimburse the fee. While working on the personality test the nurse called me back to the exam room to take my vitals. Things were ok aside from having rather low blood pressure and of course still being underweight. She took a somewhat brief history and then sent me back out to continue filling in bubbles.
A little while later the psychiatrist called my name for my consult with him. He was super nice and very knowledgeable. He immediately put to rest any worries that they may be trying to “weed out” patients that are “attention seeking” or “just depressed” or anything of the sort and explained that rather, they want to treat the whole person and an important part of that is mental health as well as physical. I was very happy that he listened to what I said and despite my history with depression, he agreed that right now, any depression or anxiety is a normal response to chronic pain that is caused by the physical problems and not the other way around. He also had some interesting thoughts about the cycles of insomnia I’ve been having. Overall I was really put at ease with our conversation.
After finally finishing the 330+ question personality test, I met with my doctor who will be the head of my team. She is primarily a physiatrist with a fellowship in headache medicine, trained in both pediatric and adult medicine, rather than a neurologist. I love this because not only can she evaluate my body as a whole, she takes several different approaches including physical medicine, medication therapy, and holistic options! We had a long conversation and she went all the way back to mom’s pregnancy with me. She explained that what is happening in my body is all under the umbrella of a hyperactive central nervous system. There are lots of different names to give the different collections of symptoms I have but at the end of the day, her goal is to “reset” my CNS and the parts of my brain that have been telling me that my dog’s cold nose on my leg is painful and things of that sort.
We decided that the most efficient use of our time would be to do inpatient lidocaine infusions and I am scheduled to go back for a follow up July 24th to discuss expectations and make a plan, and then I will be admitted July 25th to the inpatient unit for the infusion. It will likely be a 5-7 day admission and after that we will discuss options like physical therapy for my neck and shoulder pain, continuing biofeedback, and what medication regimen I’ll be using.  During the appointment she also gave me a prescription for a medication to address my POTS-like symptoms. Although I don’t meet the criteria for an official POTS diagnosis, she did want to address the fact that my body certainly leans that way and it is often a comorbid condition of NDPH. We discussed my Botox treatment at length and decided that if my Botox specialist in Indy is not willing to do anymore treatments after the second round, I will most likely transfer that care to her as well. That would mean a trip to Philadelphia every 84ish days which is certainly not ideal but, as mom and I decided, would be worth it if I were able to have a better quality of life. We’re just leaving that situation in God’s hands to work out!
After the appointment was over, mom and I headed back to the car and hit the road back west! We made it to somewhere in Ohio where we got a room for the night that was significantly more appealing than the previous night’s lodging and let Moxie romp around all over and had some good laughs watching her pounce on each of her toys. We stopped at a massive candle shop somewhere around New Castle, IN on Thursday that happened to be pet friendly so Moxie had a ball walking around shopping for a bit and we enjoyed some time out of the car. Little fluff ball got loads of attention thanks to her being SO gosh darn CUTE! On Thursday afternoon we pulled into moms driveway safe and sound and I picked up a very happy Sophie dog after a short rest on the couch. It was a whirlwind trip that has left me totally and completely drained but it was a worthwhile one! Now my goal is to make it through these next couple of months as best as I can and pray that the admission in July is successful! We are very thankful to God for safe travels, good insurance, sweet puppies, moms affinity for driving, and of course a positive outcome of this appointment!